Surveying Americans on What They Share With Their Partner

We know that sharing is a big part of a relationship, but the reality is, there are plenty of things people prefer to keep to themselves, no matter how serious the couple is about each other. We surveyed over 1,000 Americans about what kinds of things they are eager to share with their partners, how long into a relationship they wait to share, and what they’d rather keep to themselves.

The Things People Share the Most (& Least)

According to our survey, the most commonly shared thing between American partners is finances, at 95%. That includes things such as their salaries, debt, and other financial matters. Similarly, the wide majority (94%) of couples share their true feelings about their partner’s family (for better or for worse). Another 93% share a streaming account with their significant other.

But not everything is as easy to disclose, as 56% of couples say they share confidential information with their partner, even if they signed an NDA. Confidential information is one of the things people are the least likely to give up, and rightfully so, as the stakes are much higher when legal documents are involved.

Similarly, 27% of couples do not share their phone password with each other. While most are willing to let their partner have free range to their phone, not all couples can give up the key to their text messages, social media accounts, and more.

When it comes to sharing (or the lack thereof), there’s one thing that tops all: the toothbrush. Only about 18% of people said they would share a toothbrush, while almost 83% said they would never share a toothbrush. Despite that, nearly 75% of couples are more than happy to tell their partner when their breath smells bad. Apparently, no amount of intimacy can make up for dental hygiene!

Gauging Opinions Around Sharing

While a person’s willingness to share a thought or item certainly depends on the thing itself, there are also many other factors at play, like age, gender, relationship status, and more.

For instance, when asked if they’d rather share their bank account or their toothbrush, Gen Z was the most likely (38%) to opt for sharing their toothbrush over sharing access to their bank account compared to other generations. This comes as no surprise, given that only about 17% of Gen Z share a joint bank account or credit card with their partners, compared to the overall percentage of couples who share a bank account (60%).

Similarly, people in a relationship are 36% less likely to share their phone passwords with their significant others than those who are married. But commitment doesn’t automatically mean “what’s mine is yours”: married couples are notably 21% less likely to share intrusive thoughts with their partners than people just dating.

When it comes to finances, most Americans we surveyed believed that bills should be split 50/50, but about 36% thought the bills should be split proportionally, according to income. Married couples are 15% more likely than those dating to believe that bills should be divided proportionally.

Gender also plays a role in how much people are willing to dish out. Just over half of people don’t tell their partners when they find someone else attractive, but men are 17% more likely to hide finding someone attractive than women. Women are also more likely to share things like intrusive thoughts and the latest gossip with their significant other.

We also asked what people would be willing to do to keep certain things private. It turns out that nearly 25% would rather break up than share their phone password. Another 23% would let their in-laws stay for an entire month if they could keep their phone passwords a secret. So while many people keep things on the table, the ones that have their boundaries have them set firmly.

Closing Thoughts

Overall, couples are generally willing to share thoughts and feelings, whereas physical things, like phone passwords and toothbrushes, are a bit stickier. Married couples were more willing to share some things, but not everything. It just goes to show that everyone needs to keep a few things to themselves.

Regardless of what you choose to share (or not), gifts are meant to be shared. Check out our collection of timeless jewelry to share a special moment with your special someone.

Methodology

Our survey was launched in April 2023. We surveyed 1,000 Americans currently in a relationship (dating, engaged, or married). We asked questions about items they did and did not share and what lengths they’d go to in order to keep those things private.